Beach Relaxer Gifts

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

Trucker's tan.

"Hey, can you turn that thing down?!"

"Ahhh... close enough."

On holiday.

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

"Shake! Good Dog."

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

Sunbathers.

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

"This place is nice, but what would we really do if we lived here? Lie around and be happy all the time?"

"I only need shade for my wine."

There is no hurricane season in Aruba...

Segregated Beach

'One more hangover like this and I'm going to have to claim for sickness during holiday absence.'

Life's a Bench.

"How's it look back there?"

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

'Sounded more like a seagull to me.'

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

"Gucci Firenze 1921"

"I think he just ashed on me."

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'Oh, for god's sake just ignore it!'

A gondolier clears leaves form a pool

Summer Holiday activities the whole family will love.

'Why is it that as soon as the sun comes out the flies come out too.'

"This will look great on our bedroom wall."

Leaves falling from a roof garden.

'Like I'm going to give this up to migrate.'

'They're clouds, Bob. You can't channel surf.'

'I realize you love my boat, but you've been on it for nearly a month now. Do me a favor and go home.'

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'