Beach Relaxation Gifts

'And as the sun sets over the hills.'

"Nation-building never works."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

Beach con-man.

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Holiday time.

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

'Thank-you God.'

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

Bring your own inflatable.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

Working Holiday

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

Florida - Still Gay as F**k

"Is she breastfeeding in public?! That's disgusting!"

Surf Casting

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

"That’s great, but where’s the Frisbee?!"

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.