Recreational Relaxer Gifts

"Ahhh... close enough."

Legalization of marijuana

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

American Idle.

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

Sunbathers.

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

Segregated Beach

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

Life's a Bench.

'Sounded more like a seagull to me.'

'The cruises and long vacations ensure I'm not micro-managing.'

"I think he just ashed on me."

Last night I went over to Lance's house, and he was leaning back in his recliner, drinking a beer, eating a pizza and smoking a cigar. I said, "Tsk! Tsk!" He asked if that was for the recliner, the beer the pizza or the cigar. I explained that I'm quite adept at multi-tsking.

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'Oh, for god's sake just ignore it!'

'Like I'm going to give this up to migrate.'

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'Why is it that as soon as the sun comes out the flies come out too.'

Summer Holiday activities the whole family will love.

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

Man about dog relaxing in chair: 'He's a full-blooded recliner.'

'I've still got the fire in my belly, but for the next two weeks I'm solar powered.'

'I realize you love my boat, but you've been on it for nearly a month now. Do me a favor and go home.'

'Care of your new hammock. Let's face it, whatever we write here, you're not going to bother.'

"Sometimes I stop to think and forget to start again."

Visit a Place in your Past...

'They're clouds, Bob. You can't channel surf.'

Summer holiday activities the whole family will love.

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

"Yes, mother, I'm recharging."

'But I feel quite healthy.'

"Have you ever tried buying lots of stuff?"