Vacation Relaxer Gifts

The Modern Tourist

"Ahhh... close enough."

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

On holiday.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

Sunbathers.

"Shake! Good Dog."

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

"I only need shade for my wine."

Segregated Beach

'One more hangover like this and I'm going to have to claim for sickness during holiday absence.'

'The cruises and long vacations ensure I'm not micro-managing.'

'Sounded more like a seagull to me.'

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

"I think he just ashed on me."

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

'Oh, for god's sake just ignore it!'

Leaves falling from a roof garden.

Summer Holiday activities the whole family will love.

Flotation Device on the Phone

'Why is it that as soon as the sun comes out the flies come out too.'

A gondolier clears leaves form a pool

'Like I'm going to give this up to migrate.'

One isn't snubbing One's wedding, One is merely celebrating One's wedding by topping up One's tan.

'They're clouds, Bob. You can't channel surf.'

Semi-naked A stripped Semi-trailer Truck sunbathing by the pool naked

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

'Some two-year-old is marking the pool for himself.'

"After the truffle season peaks, we like to kick back and do a little clamming."

Visit a Place in your Past...