Summer Relaxer Gifts

A lifeguard at the beach

Francine says I've got a big pot belly. Sure --- That's why we call your navel a "pothole." (Published originally on June 5, 2006).

Summer holiday activities the whole family will love.

Summer Holiday activities the whole family will love.

Mother Quiet Zone

"Ahhh... close enough."

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

On holiday.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"Shake! Good Dog."

Sunbathers.

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

"I only need shade for my wine."

Segregated Beach

'One more hangover like this and I'm going to have to claim for sickness during holiday absence.'

Life's a Bench.

'Sounded more like a seagull to me.'

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

The Boys of Indian Summer

After 9pm Harry Lomax slips quietly into cruise control.

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

"I think he just ashed on me."

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'Oh, for god's sake just ignore it!'

A gondolier clears leaves form a pool

'Like I'm going to give this up to migrate.'

'Why is it that as soon as the sun comes out the flies come out too.'

'Some two-year-old is marking the pool for himself.'

Surburban Joys - Haymaking.

'They're clouds, Bob. You can't channel surf.'

'Care of your new hammock. Let's face it, whatever we write here, you're not going to bother.'

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'