Recliner Relaxer Gifts

"And this is my husband...he's into energy conservation, mostly his own!"

Last night I went over to Lance's house, and he was leaning back in his recliner, drinking a beer, eating a pizza and smoking a cigar. I said, "Tsk! Tsk!" He asked if that was for the recliner, the beer the pizza or the cigar. I explained that I'm quite adept at multi-tsking.

"Oooo!... Leather! I'd love to shed on that!!"

'This has been our most popular chair since unemployment benefits were extended.'

"Ahhh... close enough."

American Idle.

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

"First break since 2008."

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

'The cruises and long vacations ensure I'm not micro-managing.'

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

Man about dog relaxing in chair: 'He's a full-blooded recliner.'

"Don't you just love the beach, dear?"

"Sometimes I stop to think and forget to start again."

'My interest in gardening backfired when I married a couch potato.'

Siesta-time

'But I feel quite healthy.'

"Have you ever tried buying lots of stuff?"

I'm practicing for retirement - one hour every day.

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

"Try to open Grampy's chair a little slower next time, puddin'."

"I said I've travelled all over the world. I never said I got out of the box."

"This one he can do"

"Didn't I tell you to limber up before you started channel surfing?"

'My husband has retired from the bench.'

"Now bend forward to touch floor between feet- try to keep knees straight."

'How do you like your new, 'self rising armchair', Mum?'

"You know, I'm beginning to think that I'm not destined for greatness."

"Since Frank retired two years ago, he's been on the alert for some long-dormant artistic talent to develop."

'The best part of growing old is not having to invest for the long term.'

Lady reclining with a glass of wine on a giant loaf of bread.

"Have you ever thought about dropping a few pounds, dear?"

'Retirement became more tolerable when I installed this water cooler.'