Furniture Relaxer Gifts

Man about dog relaxing in chair: 'He's a full-blooded recliner.'

"Ahhh... close enough."

American Idle.

Hot Pie Therapy

"First break since 2008."

Cat Panels. Cats soak up sun on rooftop like solar panels.

'The cruises and long vacations ensure I'm not micro-managing.'

Last night I went over to Lance's house, and he was leaning back in his recliner, drinking a beer, eating a pizza and smoking a cigar. I said, "Tsk! Tsk!" He asked if that was for the recliner, the beer the pizza or the cigar. I explained that I'm quite adept at multi-tsking.

'Gee, mom, you know I want to visit - I'm just so darned busy.'

"It's days like this that make me glad I became a teacher."

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

"I'm in the middle of a local wine tasting tour."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

"Don't you just love the beach, dear?"

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

'But I feel quite healthy.'

"Well, as usual, I'm toasty. . ."

'Oh it is nice to get away from it all.'

'My interest in gardening backfired when I married a couch potato.'

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'You can't imagine how happy we are to find a vet who makes house calls!'

"Have you ever tried buying lots of stuff?"

"And this is my husband...he's into energy conservation, mostly his own!"

"So what books didn't you get around to reading during lockdown?"

"It's amazing! A couple of inches of snow and the whole country grinds to a halt!"

Pearson, I Smell Something Burning

"Oooo!... Leather! I'd love to shed on that!!"

I'm practicing for retirement - one hour every day.

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

"You're home from work now Dear, you can go back on your default setting."

Yoga at home

"Now bend forward to touch floor between feet- try to keep knees straight."

"This one he can do"