Indoor Relaxer Gifts

"Now bend forward to touch floor between feet- try to keep knees straight."

"Ahhh... close enough."

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

Hot Pie Therapy

Life's a Bench.

'The cruises and long vacations ensure I'm not micro-managing.'

'Gee, mom, you know I want to visit - I'm just so darned busy.'

"It's days like this that make me glad I became a teacher."

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

Last night I went over to Lance's house, and he was leaning back in his recliner, drinking a beer, eating a pizza and smoking a cigar. I said, "Tsk! Tsk!" He asked if that was for the recliner, the beer the pizza or the cigar. I explained that I'm quite adept at multi-tsking.

"I think he just ashed on me."

'Oh, for god's sake just ignore it!'

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

'Like I'm going to give this up to migrate.'

'Why is it that as soon as the sun comes out the flies come out too.'

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

"I'm in the middle of a local wine tasting tour."

Man about dog relaxing in chair: 'He's a full-blooded recliner.'

"Well, as usual, I'm toasty. . ."

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'Oh it is nice to get away from it all.'

'You can't imagine how happy we are to find a vet who makes house calls!'

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

"Yes, mother, I'm recharging."

'They're clouds, Bob. You can't channel surf.'

"Sometimes I stop to think and forget to start again."

Visit a Place in your Past...

'Care of your new hammock. Let's face it, whatever we write here, you're not going to bother.'

'I realize you love my boat, but you've been on it for nearly a month now. Do me a favor and go home.'

"Have you ever tried buying lots of stuff?"

Townsfolk enjoying some personal time off at their local mountain spring.