Indoor Relaxation Gifts

'It says in the paper this is a good film to watch because the sun comes out a lot.'

The Apathy TV Channel

"Normally I'd agree that sitting in front of a roaring fire one a cold winter night was wonderful...but you don't have a fireplace, Norman."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"The parasol certainly paid for itself this summer."

"Just the slippers is fine!"

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

'Dear, could you hold it down to a light snow flurry?'

'A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, a CD player, a laptop computer, a cordless phone and thou.'

'Gee, mom, you know I want to visit - I'm just so darned busy.'

"He's 'getting the grill ready for summer,' which means he's washing out the beer cooler."

A man sitting in the grass reading

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

"This is what I call a home entertainment centre."

"I'm not the only one who hates you changing the channel every second. Now when you want to watch TV, the remote escapes."

"In da house"

"It's days like this that make me glad I became a teacher."

'Anything good on the telly tonight? Yes dear the vase!'

"Who's my perfect little excuse to leave social functions? You are, yes you are."

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

"I'm in the middle of a local wine tasting tour."

Man about dog relaxing in chair: 'He's a full-blooded recliner.'

"All the atmosphere of 'Murray Mound' but in the comfort of your own home!"

'You're so sophisticated and witty...and muscular...do you work out? Why, yes, I'd love to come back to your place.'

Water Gardening: And you will find yourself thinking over many garden problems at the waterside.

'You can't imagine how happy we are to find a vet who makes house calls!'

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

"What … have … you … done?"

"Well, as usual, I'm toasty. . ."

"What'll it be ... scary movies or scary news?"