Rocking Chair Relaxer Gifts

Happy Retirement.

"Ahhh... close enough."

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

Hot Pie Therapy

"First break since 2008."

Pre-Television Man Caves

Tilly Slowboy

'The cruises and long vacations ensure I'm not micro-managing.'

You can't get what up

Last night I went over to Lance's house, and he was leaning back in his recliner, drinking a beer, eating a pizza and smoking a cigar. I said, "Tsk! Tsk!" He asked if that was for the recliner, the beer the pizza or the cigar. I explained that I'm quite adept at multi-tsking.

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

The secret to longevity is good genes, good diet, a good lawyer and witnesses with weak eyesight and poor memories.

Man about dog relaxing in chair: 'He's a full-blooded recliner.'

"Don't you just love the beach, dear?"

"Sometimes I stop to think and forget to start again."

'My interest in gardening backfired when I married a couch potato.'

'Can we go back home now, Granny?'

'Oh it is nice to get away from it all.'

"And this is my husband...he's into energy conservation, mostly his own!"

"Oooo!... Leather! I'd love to shed on that!!"

'I'm sure looking forward to relaxing when we get to the summit.'

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'

Cat taking it easy after spending the previous 23 hours sleeping.

Beware of Curmudgeon!

"Now bend forward to touch floor between feet- try to keep knees straight."

"Sigurd advocates civil disobedience relating to the 'law of gravity'."

"This one he can do"

"You know, I'm beginning to think that I'm not destined for greatness."

'My husband has retired from the bench.'

"I said I've travelled all over the world. I never said I got out of the box."

'The best part of growing old is not having to invest for the long term.'

"Since Frank retired two years ago, he's been on the alert for some long-dormant artistic talent to develop."

Lady reclining with a glass of wine on a giant loaf of bread.

Old Men On Rockers Sneeze and Fall Over.