Baseball Season Start Gifts

In the future, I'll never complain about it being chilly when I get to go to an early-season baseball game.

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Church for sports worshipers.

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"I AM at my usual position."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

High-gravity baseball

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

350 Feet.

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.