Baseball Season Start Pillows

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Church for sports worshipers.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

"I AM at my usual position."

High-gravity baseball

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines