End Of Baseball Season Gifts

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Church for sports worshipers.

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Work Parfait

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

High-gravity baseball

"I AM at my usual position."

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

350 Feet.

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.