Major League Baseball Season Gifts

'Get in there, $1,500,000, and pinch-hit for $3,250,000'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Church for sports worshipers.

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

Welcome Spring.

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

Eco-Anxiety For All Seasons

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

High-gravity baseball

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"I AM at my usual position."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"Happy Gnu Year!"

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Sunbathing in Autumn

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

350 Feet.