End Of Tax Season Gifts

T-shirt slogan: 'I survived the audit.'

Choose Your Own Tax Inspector.

'About this obscene material found in your desk.'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

In basket-case.

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

Work Parfait

'Salaries Manager. No.'

What My Day Feels Like

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Annual profits,

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

"Whereas we used to display losses in shocking and offensive red, we now display them in warm and comforting toasted almond."

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

The Salesman

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

Businessman in suit on beach with financial report and eyes cut out viewing impending storm.

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"It's the new simplified tax demand from HMRC. . . Three Questions - How much did you earn last year? How much have you got left? And how soon can you send it. . .?"

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

"We've had a major development this year that I'm excited to share with the employees."

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

Plan 'A', Plan 'B' - "I say we should go with plan 'A', sir."