End Of Fiscal Year Gifts

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

"Yeah, everyone agrees on the numbers, but nobody knows what they mean."

'Today's financial report will be a short one: We had money, now we don't.'

In basket-case.

'This year we're in really great shape. Nobody understands our financial statement!'

"The first one is actual, the second was our projection."

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

"It's the annual report."

Businessman in suit on beach with financial report and eyes cut out viewing impending storm.

"We have reason to believe there may be some volatility in the fourth quarter."

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

'Now this is my kind of green!'

I'm pinning up next year's chart. You've got high hopes.

'Workers: The Queen expects all time-sheets filled in by C.O.B. tonight...'

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

"We're hoping for an upturn in the 5th quarter."

"Whereas we used to display losses in shocking and offensive red, we now display them in warm and comforting toasted almond."

Profits and bonuses.

'Don't let our profits go south. You know what I'm like when we get in the RED!'

What My Day Feels Like

"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

"Since when did the bonus program default to passing the hat"

"Forget coffees, bring in seven stiff whiskies."

Department of Wastage - Formerly 'Middle Management'

Accounting Dept: Red ink

"As you can see, the numbers for this year are much bigger."

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

"But on the bright side, my year end bonus was huge!"

"Consider this job a reality show where you work your butt off 14 hours a day. If you win, you'll get a paycheck and the chance to do it all over again next week."

21st century water cooler conversations.

"So do I take it that's a 'NO' to the pay rise?"

'The negotiations were really tough this year...but the good news is that we managed to hang on to ALL the extra work!'

A chill wind is blowing...