End Of Financial Quarter Gifts

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

'I hope you don't mind ordering the free bread and water. My expense account isn't what it used to be.'

"Don't worry, sir. There's plenty of time to recover if there's a fifth quarter this year."

In basket-case.

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

Work Parfait

'Salaries Manager. No.'

"I hate performance review season."

What My Day Feels Like

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

The Salesman

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

Businessman in suit on beach with financial report and eyes cut out viewing impending storm.

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

"We've had a major development this year that I'm excited to share with the employees."