End Of Financial Quarter Gifts

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

'I hope you don't mind ordering the free bread and water. My expense account isn't what it used to be.'

"Don't worry, sir. There's plenty of time to recover if there's a fifth quarter this year."

In basket-case.

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

21st century water cooler conversations.

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

Work Parfait

'Salaries Manager. No.'

"I hate performance review season."

What My Day Feels Like

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

Annual profits,

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Whereas we used to display losses in shocking and offensive red, we now display them in warm and comforting toasted almond."

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."

The Salesman

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

Businessman in suit on beach with financial report and eyes cut out viewing impending storm.

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'