End Of Quarter Review Gifts

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

And here is where we stooped to the level of the competition.

"...and right here in Q2 is where the 'you know what' hit the fan. . ."

'Congratulations, gentlemen! Sales have held steady for another quarter.'

Business is off the chart.

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

Work Parfait

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"I hate performance review season."

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

The Salesman

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

"We've had a major development this year that I'm excited to share with the employees."

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

Soaring Profits

Plan 'A', Plan 'B' - "I say we should go with plan 'A', sir."

'Why so tense? First appraisal meeting?'

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

"We've developed a five year plan that includes ample provisions for another five year plan if this one doesn't work."

"It's swings and roundabouts – one goes up the other goes down."

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

'And right here they merged...'