End Of Fiscal Year Review Gifts

Next year we have to turn it around

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

In basket-case.

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

21st century water cooler conversations.

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

'Salaries Manager. No.'

What My Day Feels Like

Annual profits,

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

"Whereas we used to display losses in shocking and offensive red, we now display them in warm and comforting toasted almond."

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

The Salesman

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

Businessman in suit on beach with financial report and eyes cut out viewing impending storm.

'If sales don't improve incrementally... our business outlook will change excrementally...'

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

Business is off the chart.

"We've had a major development this year that I'm excited to share with the employees."

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

Plan 'A', Plan 'B' - "I say we should go with plan 'A', sir."