Financial Year-end Reviews Gifts

'Something is going on in the market, Watkins! I've got the jitters and I've got 'em bad!'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"I hate performance review season."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

"Whereas we used to display losses in shocking and offensive red, we now display them in warm and comforting toasted almond."

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

'If sales don't improve incrementally... our business outlook will change excrementally...'

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

Business is off the chart.

Plan 'A', Plan 'B' - "I say we should go with plan 'A', sir."

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

"We've developed a five year plan that includes ample provisions for another five year plan if this one doesn't work."

"It's swings and roundabouts – one goes up the other goes down."

Smiling businessman with rising profits

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

'All in favor of just laughing it off, say ha, ha, ha.'

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

Forms I cannot deal with / Forms I will not deal with

End of Year Figs.

"It all looks fine to me."

'I'll review your salary next spring.'