Financial Reviews Gifts

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'If sales don't improve incrementally... our business outlook will change excrementally...'

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

Granny with balanced pie chart

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

'Now, if you would all put on your glasses, we'll get a glimpse of our profits in 3D.'

"It's swings and roundabouts – one goes up the other goes down."

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

"After an extensive analysis of your company's strengths and weaknesses our recommendation is to give us more money."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

"That's more like it Perkins..!!"

"Your records indicate a great deal of early promise however you've apparently become old and bald."

"It's time for your performance review where I damn you with faint praise."

Vulture sitting over a plummeting graph.

'I thought the memo was quite clear. What part didn't you understand?'

"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."