Baseball Opening Day Gifts

News and Magazines. Baseball Season Delayed. Looks like baseball needs a new delay of game penalty.

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Bowled over again!

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

Go team!

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Perils of the double play.

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

Man transplants plant in his garden.

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

Strive to win!

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

What is it with football and this drinking culture?

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

Football supporters.

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

'Peanuts, popcorn, steroids!'

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

No Time-Outs Left. Please Help.

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

This is great, Ernie, there's a pennant race and the ballpark is packed every day! The food selection here is unmatched anywhere! Today I've already had nachos, a bit of hot dog and some ice cream! Coming here always makes me queasy! Oh, the foods too much for you? No, I just get nervous in a place where the term "sacrifice fly" is used!

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."