Attending First Baseball Game Gifts

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Perils of the double play.

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

"Think of me as the designated sitter."

'OK, now let's switch places.'

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

Vendor selling testosterone.

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

"Try letting the ball come to you."

"Got him up at the stadium, Chief. It was Yankee Duck Day."

Official Team Cap With Beard

Monster Baseball

'Here is is. 'Vicarious: imagined participation in another's experience' ... it doesn't mean you actually get to play on your son's team.'

'I'll take the one on the right.'

"We would have won if it hadn't been for the other team."

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

Baseball Dreams

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

'He's not a skilled pitcher. In fact, he throws like a nerd...'

"Get the meat loaf—I hit it out of the park today."

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

"Easy on the fast balls, will you, kid?"

Baseball.