Baseball Devotee Gifts

'It's a slightly more advanced version of fetch.'

"Gimme a hand – I'm stuck."

"Here on the Cape, Mitchell favors ethnic garb."

"Look, I can't talk dude—Megan is leaving me and—what? I can still draft Aaron Judge? What about Ohtani? Check. I'll hold."

Who should have been nominated to baseball's hall of fame 2013...

Ahhh, spring baseball.

Vendor selling testosterone.

"He has a pulled tendon, so keep it as high as your bursitis will let you, but take it easy with your fast ball because of my bone chips."

"Malcolm, you're a grown man. You have responsibilities. How can you worry about these people?"

"Whoa! Now Philly has the bases loaded with one out!..."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

Perils of the double play.

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

Sheltering in place.

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

The bovine who jumped over the news went on to a great career w/ the Bulls!

'OK, now let's switch places.'

"Think of me as the designated sitter."

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

I love Basketball.

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"