Baseball Aficionados Gifts

'Remember his weakness is a pulled tendon, so keep it as high as your bursitis will let you, but take it easy with your fast ball because of my bone chips.'

'I was traded to St Pete's for two pitchers- of beer.'

"Seventh inning stretch already?"

"I can deal with the bi-racial and bi-lingual stuff, but one parent is a Mets fan and the other is a Yankee fan."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

350 Feet.

Perils of the double play.

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

No Baseball

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

Sheltering in place.

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

"Always carry a ball with you! If you are chased by a dog, stop, show the ball and throw it. Believe me, he won't be able to resist chasing it instead of you..."

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

'OK, now let's switch places.'

Vendor selling testosterone.

"Think of me as the designated sitter."

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

"Got him up at the stadium, Chief. It was Yankee Duck Day."

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

Official Team Cap With Beard

"Try letting the ball come to you."