Baseball Enthusiasts Gifts

As senior assistant groundskeeper, Louie was responsible for dragging the infielders before every game.

"If you can get his parents to go ballistic, he can't hit a thing."

'Wait! I'm an attorney and I represent the base runner!'

A pitcher is stranded on the mound.

'Who's on drugs?'

'... So one day I thought, hey, why walk all the way out to the mound just to take a pitcher out of the game?'

'I had no idea she was filing for divorce. It came right out of left field!!'

'The runner was safe by a mile, but the ump called him out - and the coach went ballistic.'

No hit field mouse. 'I got it!'

'I can't play too long, I think my mom is having labor day pains,'

'Take a big lead, then go ahead an jog to second base. This sloth's got a good arm...'

'I warned you, Stan. Don't show any fear. If that pitcher senses fear, he'll bean you every time.'

Thank you for not ruining the integrity of the game.

"He just married me on the rebound."

"Anybody up there need an autograph?"

'It'll take a day or two to get the parts. Meanwhile, here's a loaner.'

'Strike!'

Baseball's New On-Field Drug Counseling

Ask Sadie. If you were to win $100 million in the Mega Lottery, do you think the money would change you? How would you spend it? - Billy, a long-time fan. *Actual reader letter. First, I'd do my part to cure world hunger, then give to needy children, then help pay downs some of the national debt, then … Wait, lemme reorder a bit. First I'd buy the Yankees, then world hunger, then needy children. No first the Yankees, then a private jet, then gum, then the needy whatchamacallits. Children. Turn

I asked people to name a well-known "Frank" who most often comes to mind when they think about you. I never heard singer "Frank Sinatra." Nor did I hear architect "Frank Lloyd Wright." I'll bet people said "Franklin Roosevelt" because of my leadership abilities! No, no, wait! Everybody remembers the home run I hit in softball. I must remind people of baseball hall of famer "Frank Thomas"! Ohh, so close! The "Frank" which comes to mind when people think about you is also found at ballpark

Third base coaches during a brawl.

"I remember when saying a ballplayer was juicing meant he chewed tobacco."

"Knuckle ball. Fork ball. Fast ball. Hair ball."

"I'm probably in the minority, but I would've loved to see Mantle on steroids."

"I am standing up straight."

"Well, no, we don't have a mascot, but we're the Lions."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

350 Feet.

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

Perils of the double play.