Ballgame Fan Gifts

'How to get at the bowler' number 1

"Good game."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Mixed Doubles.

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

Spring Training

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Raheem Sterling

"How should we divide the teams?"

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

Ted's Brilliant Rugby Career Was Plagued By Nagging Injuries,

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts