Ball Game Fanatics Gifts

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Holiday time.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

Sheltering in place.

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Always carry a ball with you! If you are chased by a dog, stop, show the ball and throw it. Believe me, he won't be able to resist chasing it instead of you..."

'You play ball with me and I'll play ball with you!'

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

'To talk to men at their own level you have to talk a load of balls.'

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).

I can just feel it. I know they're talking about me.

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

'Is that the look of love or the look of hearing a home run on your bluetooth?'

'Dad says I can't come out tonight. It's some sort of infield fly rule.'

A boy with a football

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

This is great, Ernie, there's a pennant race and the ballpark is packed every day! The food selection here is unmatched anywhere! Today I've already had nachos, a bit of hot dog and some ice cream! Coming here always makes me queasy! Oh, the foods too much for you? No, I just get nervous in a place where the term "sacrifice fly" is used!

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

A Masked Ball

'I am beginning my windup now. ... Drum roll, please.'

The conversion.

'Give us another minute, blue. The surgeon just reattached the tendon and he's closing up.'

"I'm watching the hockey game. The score is 4 nothing for the Zamboni driver."