Ball Fanatic Gifts

Why dogs never attend baseball games.

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Go team!

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

If nobody had invented graphics

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Football

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Ball as water-melon.