Ball Enthusiasts Gifts

"You think you've been kicked-around a lot? Try being me for a day..."

"Always carry a ball with you! If you are chased by a dog, stop, show the ball and throw it. Believe me, he won't be able to resist chasing it instead of you..."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

I like the Jets...I guess

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Holiday time.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

350 Feet.

Perils of the double play.

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

'OK, now let's switch places.'

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'You play ball with me and I'll play ball with you!'

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Canine conundrum.

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

Official Team Cap With Beard

Extra innings.

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

'To talk to men at their own level you have to talk a load of balls.'

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

'Here is is. 'Vicarious: imagined participation in another's experience' ... it doesn't mean you actually get to play on your son's team.'

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

'I'll take the one on the right.'

"We would have won if it hadn't been for the other team."

"Get the meat loaf—I hit it out of the park today."