Ball Game Enthusiasts Gifts

Weighted Water Polo

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Football Fans

Holiday time.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

350 Feet.

Perils of the double play.

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"Always carry a ball with you! If you are chased by a dog, stop, show the ball and throw it. Believe me, he won't be able to resist chasing it instead of you..."

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'OK, now let's switch places.'

'You play ball with me and I'll play ball with you!'

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Official Team Cap With Beard

'To talk to men at their own level you have to talk a load of balls.'

Basketball.

'The English player has hit the net more times than the entire England team in the football World Cup!'

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

Extra innings.

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

'Here is is. 'Vicarious: imagined participation in another's experience' ... it doesn't mean you actually get to play on your son's team.'

"We would have won if it hadn't been for the other team."

'I'll take the one on the right.'

Stadium. No fans allowed. In baseball, "shutout" now has two meanings.

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

A boy with a football

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

Baseball Dreams

"Get the meat loaf—I hit it out of the park today."

Trout Game

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'