Sports Fanatic Gifts

Rugby scrum with a 'Meeting in Progress' sign.

Well look, I'm afraid I really must run...

"Have you given any thought to what you're going to do with your life after the Super Bowl?"

'Mutilate, mangle, crush, pound, slam, bash, plaster and pulverize. That's rugby... Now get out there and have fun!'

Sports Medicine - Doctor has Giant Foam Finger.

'The new physio's red hot on pre-match stretching.'

'Maybe dad shouldn't have been carving the pumpkin while his team was losing on TV.'

"What's wrong with that quiet little table for two in front of the Rangers game?"

Bad Knees.

Mrs. Frosty Has A Hot Flash.

Umpires filing trays marked 'safe' and 'out'.

To appease the fans, major-league umpires are now required to take eye exams during the seventh inning stretch.

'...and forget your damn sensitivity training.'

'Now, remember how it works, Mrs. Cortlock? If Dr. Gundleson strikes out OR if you catch a foul ball, your extraction is totally free!'

NCAA Applications

'I can tell by the look on your face that your mind is somewhere else today.'

Upon review of the finish photo, race officials discovered cheating on the part of Turf King.

"Basketball star, huh? Tell me, what makes you think you're above the law?"

'Whoa! Time out. The loud guy in the white shirt is right - that was a ball. My mistake. Sorry everyone. Thank you, sir.'

"Let's go William! Get your head in the game!"

John Terry

Deadly Radon

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

Succumbing to pressure from players and fans, the home plate umpire agrees to undergo on-the-spot Lasik eye surgery.

"...it's now 15 days since I persuaded Mary to swim off in search of the latest test score."

Rugby player scores with boot but not the ball.

'Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey...'

Mohamed Salah

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

Doctor to man with baseball player and footbal player on feet: 'You have a bad case of athlete's foot.'

"What are the shareholders complaining about? I make less than a Premier League footballer."

'There's more to life than winning. . .there's also testing negative for performance enhancing drugs.'

Bowled out on extra wickets.

"All right! Have it your own way. It was a ball."

'We should have asserted control early on. They've been jawing at each other all game long. It was bound to turn violent.'