Sports Fanatic Gifts

Well look, I'm afraid I really must run...

"Have you given any thought to what you're going to do with your life after the Super Bowl?"

'Mutilate, mangle, crush, pound, slam, bash, plaster and pulverize. That's rugby... Now get out there and have fun!'

'The new physio's red hot on pre-match stretching.'

"What's wrong with that quiet little table for two in front of the Rangers game?"

'Maybe dad shouldn't have been carving the pumpkin while his team was losing on TV.'

Mrs. Frosty Has A Hot Flash.

Bad Knees.

Umpires filing trays marked 'safe' and 'out'.

'...and forget your damn sensitivity training.'

"Basketball star, huh? Tell me, what makes you think you're above the law?"

"What are the shareholders complaining about? I make less than a Premier League footballer."

"All right! Have it your own way. It was a ball."

Rugby player scores with boot but not the ball.

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

Doctor to man with baseball player and footbal player on feet: 'You have a bad case of athlete's foot.'

'There's more to life than winning. . .there's also testing negative for performance enhancing drugs.'

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

"...it's now 15 days since I persuaded Mary to swim off in search of the latest test score."

Bowled out on extra wickets.

'Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey...'

"Let's go William! Get your head in the game!"

Deadly Radon

'I'm thinking of jumping right from JV ball to the NBA.'

'She's always like this when Wimbledon ends.'

"You know, I never really thought to ask - I just assumed he knows they can't hear him."

The Awkward Bounce!!!

Sports Radio in Crisis

Athletes' Income

Newspaper readers.

'We should have asserted control early on. They've been jawing at each other all game long. It was bound to turn violent.'

"Sorry, Kevin, but 'March Madness' is not an official school holiday."

'Is it just my imagination, or do we have a lot more relatives now that we're throwing a tailgate party?'

Medal winners on the podium, with competitors in fourth, fifth, and sixth positions, disappearing into the ground.

How the Forwards See the Backs and How the Backs See the Forwards