Competitive Sports Fanatic Gifts

The winner takes it all?

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Bowled over again!

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

Go team!

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

Football Chameleon

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

If nobody had invented graphics

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Monica Seles

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

A day at the transgenic races

"How should we divide the teams?"

350 Feet.

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

Ratminton

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'