Sporting Fanatic Gifts

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Bowled over again!

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

Go team!

"I need to tinkle."

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

If nobody had invented graphics

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Raheem Sterling

Alternative fielding positions

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

Football

350 Feet.

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'