Football Fanatic Gifts

"Mind if I put the game on?"

"He's got the ball, he's at the 30, the 20, the 10, he's running past the end zone, he's leaving the stadium..."

"Wake up, Larry - you're missing the pregame."

'I hope this doesn't turn into a tradition.'

'Look up... Look down... Look at my thumb. Gee, You're...'

U.S. vs United Kingdom Football Match

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

'In the interest of full disclosure I feel you should know that for the remainder of this meeting I'll be sitting here quietly thinking about pro football.'

'No Ken. Watching football and drinking beer at the same time is NOT multi-tasking!'

"I don't think much of their defence."

"Another meeting?"

Football crazy

Liverpool FC Chairman - "It's Man United, they want to know if we've any trophy cabinets going spare."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'There really is no need for confusion. Rule 10, section 5, article a, subsection 3, exception 4 quite clearly states ... '

'It's not his knee. It appears his feelings are hurt and the team psychologist is rushing out onto the field.'

'Push! That's it. It's just like passing a football.'

"I rolled over my 401K into the football pool."

'They think it's Andover - it is Slough!'

'Listen, I just want to say this right up front so there are no hurt feelings later on. ... I'm very, very sorry for what I'm about to do to you.'

"How about if this year you're in charge of the turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, green bean casserole, rolls, salads, and pies and I'm in charge of football viewing and bringing the little table up from the basement."

The true meaning of Thanksgiving...

"Oi - change that to Chelsea."

'Always remember, Luke. This is the pros. When you win, they scratch you behind your ears. When you lose, they put you to sleep.'

"I'm going shopping and plan on spending thousands..."

'What a RIP-off!'

Bride throws bouquet, woman dressed in American footballer's outfit catches it.

'Listen, they've scored five straight goals. It's nothing personal, but I think we need someone with limbs playing goalie.'

Men watching TV, shouting close him down.

'That's it,Terry! Perfect.Just hold your head like that.'

'Sure I remember our 20th wedding anniversary - that was the year Denver beat Atlanta....'

Evolution

A football team lines up under a guillotine.

Footballer pushes a giant football up the hill.

'I'm an athletic trainer, not a miracle worker.'