Ballgame Lover Gifts

Warning... This ballgame contains scenes and language of an explicit nature. Viewer discretion is advised.

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Holiday time.

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

Currently Boston

"Always carry a ball with you! If you are chased by a dog, stop, show the ball and throw it. Believe me, he won't be able to resist chasing it instead of you..."

Playing pig

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

Sheltering in place.

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'You play ball with me and I'll play ball with you!'

I watched an erotic thriller last night. Have you heard of the film 'Field of Dreams'?

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

I can just feel it. I know they're talking about me.

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

'To talk to men at their own level you have to talk a load of balls.'

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

All Star Team.

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

A boy with a football

This is great, Ernie, there's a pennant race and the ballpark is packed every day! The food selection here is unmatched anywhere! Today I've already had nachos, a bit of hot dog and some ice cream! Coming here always makes me queasy! Oh, the foods too much for you? No, I just get nervous in a place where the term "sacrifice fly" is used!

Try Our New Slam Dunk Coffee and Donut Special.

'Dad says I can't come out tonight. It's some sort of infield fly rule.'

'Is that the look of love or the look of hearing a home run on your bluetooth?'

Game In A Can.