Barnyard Philosophers Gifts

"My job is not as easy as it looks: You have to learn about astronomy and celestial mechanics to be able to accurately predict sunrise and sunset..."

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"They’re real."

Cock A Doodle

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

Moo! OOM!

Drawing on the left side of the barn.

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

Bad news I'm afraid. Our universe is shrinking!

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

Ham-Dram

'Your barn door's open.'

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

'The cow mooed, the pig oinked, the chicken clucked, I baaed and then we adjourned.'

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

"We need less cowbell!"

"I was going to go to the other slop trough, but the music's always too loud."

"Can you milk a cow?"

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

'I forgot to tell you Neddy's not 'broken-in' yet...!'

"And that, son, is where chickens come from."

'Is it slop yet?'

'No. I insist. You first.'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of working with goats are the hardest.'