Barnyard Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'He faked an orgasm.'

"Now don't go getting all clucky on me!"

"You turned all night long!"

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Moo! OOM!

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

A Cow Striptease

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

Police Cow!

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

'Your barn door's open.'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

'Well, Dad, it's 2:00 AM and we've been messing with her all night...'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

'I forgot to tell you Neddy's not 'broken-in' yet...!'

'Is it slop yet?'

'No. I insist. You first.'

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

"We need less cowbell!"

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'Abandon Sheep.'