Barnyard Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'He faked an orgasm.'

"Now don't go getting all clucky on me!"

"You turned all night long!"

Bubble Gum Farms.

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

A Cow Striptease

Police Cow!

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

Moo! OOM!

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

'Your barn door's open.'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

When Cows Discovered Mowers

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

'Well, Dad, it's 2:00 AM and we've been messing with her all night...'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

'What's that smell?'

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

'Is it slop yet?'

"We need less cowbell!"

'I forgot to tell you Neddy's not 'broken-in' yet...!'

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

'No. I insist. You first.'