Barnyard Humor Aficionado Gifts

Ewe are here.

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Moo! OOM!

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

Police Cow!

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

'Your barn door's open.'

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

'I forgot to tell you Neddy's not 'broken-in' yet...!'

'Is it slop yet?'

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

"We need less cowbell!"

'Orchestra Pit Bull.'

'No. I insist. You first.'

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'Abandon Sheep.'

Sheep Ballast

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

Cow being clamped for milk.

"I just try to do my part- camembert, brie, Velveeta - Those are marketing decisions.''

'Come on girls, can you at least pretend I rule the roost when the farmer is around...'

"So how do we know if they've got this helium virus?"