Barnyard Antics Aficionado Gifts

Cow being clamped for milk.

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

Dedication to excellence....

A Cow Striptease

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

'Well, Dad, it's 2:00 AM and we've been messing with her all night...'

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'No. I insist. You first.'

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

'Orchestra Pit Bull.'

"I stink... therefore, I am."

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

Rooster writes out 'Things to cock-a-doodle-do.'

"I just try to do my part- camembert, brie, Velveeta - Those are marketing decisions.''

A frightened woman running from a cow.

'Mirror, mirror, on the silo, who's the studliest bull in Shiloh?'

Psst! Stay in character!

Oh you baad bad girl!

'I'd like to speak to the slop steward.'

...and this is you bedroom come dining room come kitchen come toilet!

'The main difference between small animal surgery and large animal surgery...'

'To be perfectly honest, I hate my job: I'm not really a morning person...'

Farmer tries to plug his lawn mower into a pig.