Barnyard Aficionado Gifts

'I know you've heard about how we roosters get around, but believe me, I'm a one-chicken guy.'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

A Cow Striptease

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

"Haay, Tia Carmen, these eggs sure are fresh! What's your secret?"

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

'You can stop worrying about your husband Mrs.Dellrow...He's going to be fine,now that we have him in a stable condition.'

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

Timmy Works with His Pet Cow

"Hey, you two, get a barn!"

Warning: Not giving milk is hazardous to your health.

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

'Well, Dad, it's 2:00 AM and we've been messing with her all night...'

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

'Tender and Juicy.'

'No. I insist. You first.'

Three ducks: two have normal bills, third one has bill turned around like bill of cap.

"Don't leave me dangling!"

Sheep

"I stink... therefore, I am."

"I bet you couldn't eat three."

'I'd like to speak to the slop steward.'

"Oh, I was looking for something with a little more hay."