Barnyard Banter Aficionado Gifts

"I said I think I pulled a hamstring."

Bubble Gum Farms.

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

A Cow Striptease

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

Moo! OOM!

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

When Cows Discovered Mowers

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

'Well, Dad, it's 2:00 AM and we've been messing with her all night...'

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'No. I insist. You first.'

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

'Jenkins, when was the last time you cleaned out the barn?'

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

Sheep Ballast

...and this is you bedroom come dining room come kitchen come toilet!

"I just try to do my part- camembert, brie, Velveeta - Those are marketing decisions.''

'Mirror, mirror, on the silo, who's the studliest bull in Shiloh?'

Rooster writes out 'Things to cock-a-doodle-do.'

'I'd like to speak to the slop steward.'

Oh you baad bad girl!

Cow being clamped for milk.

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."