Barnyard Banter Enthusiast Gifts

Bubble Gum Farms.

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

"Their house is full of shit and feathers just like the rest of us."

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

I can see you didn't invite me round here for my sparkling conversation!

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

A Cow Striptease

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

"Haay, Tia Carmen, these eggs sure are fresh! What's your secret?"

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

Timmy Works with His Pet Cow

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

'This is my mom and dad.'

When Cows Discovered Mowers

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

'Well, Dad, it's 2:00 AM and we've been messing with her all night...'

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'Tender and Juicy.'

'Jenkins, when was the last time you cleaned out the barn?'

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

"I stink... therefore, I am."

'No. I insist. You first.'

"Don't leave me dangling!"

Sheep

Rooster writes out 'Things to cock-a-doodle-do.'

"I just try to do my part- camembert, brie, Velveeta - Those are marketing decisions.''