Barnyard Banter Fan Gifts

'Like it or not baby, I'm the only rooster in this henhouse...'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Moo! OOM!

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

'Your barn door's open.'

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'Jenkins, when was the last time you cleaned out the barn?'

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

'No. I insist. You first.'

'Is it slop yet?'

"We need less cowbell!"

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

"be-be-be-be"

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'Abandon Sheep.'

Sheep Ballast

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

"I just try to do my part- camembert, brie, Velveeta - Those are marketing decisions.''

Cow being clamped for milk.

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

'Come on girls, can you at least pretend I rule the roost when the farmer is around...'

"So how do we know if they've got this helium virus?"