Barnyard Fan Gifts

...Five...six...seven...oh man! I can't help myself.

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Moo! OOM!

A Cow Striptease

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

'Well, Dad, it's 2:00 AM and we've been messing with her all night...'

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'Orchestra Pit Bull.'

'No. I insist. You first.'

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

"be-be-be-be"

"I stink... therefore, I am."

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

Sheep Ballast

'I'd like to speak to the slop steward.'

...and this is you bedroom come dining room come kitchen come toilet!

Rooster writes out 'Things to cock-a-doodle-do.'

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

Oh you baad bad girl!

Cow being clamped for milk.

'Mirror, mirror, on the silo, who's the studliest bull in Shiloh?'

Psst! Stay in character!

"So how do we know if they've got this helium virus?"

'The main difference between small animal surgery and large animal surgery...'

"I don't want to worry you, but this years prize winning pig, usually ends up as next years prize winning sausages."