Barnyard Humor Fan Gifts

'Decisions, decisions, decisions.'

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

"Yes, we had the same father, a holstein. We are half-steins."

'I'm not sure what's in that trough, but it's making my first and third stomach turn.'

'No. I insist. You first.'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

Bubble Gum Farms.

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Moo! OOM!

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

Police Cow!

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

'Your barn door's open.'

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

'What's that smell?'

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

'I forgot to tell you Neddy's not 'broken-in' yet...!'

'Is it slop yet?'

"We need less cowbell!"

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'Abandon Sheep.'

Farm Humor.

Sheep Ballast

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

'Come on girls, can you at least pretend I rule the roost when the farmer is around...'

"I just try to do my part- camembert, brie, Velveeta - Those are marketing decisions.''

Cow being clamped for milk.