Barnyard Humor Fan Pillows

'Decisions, decisions, decisions.'

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

"Yes, we had the same father, a holstein. We are half-steins."

'I'm not sure what's in that trough, but it's making my first and third stomach turn.'

'No. I insist. You first.'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

Moo! OOM!

Police Cow!

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

'Your barn door's open.'

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

'I forgot to tell you Neddy's not 'broken-in' yet...!'

"We need less cowbell!"

'Is it slop yet?'

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'Abandon Sheep.'

Farm Humor.

Sheep Ballast

"I just try to do my part- camembert, brie, Velveeta - Those are marketing decisions.''

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

'Come on girls, can you at least pretend I rule the roost when the farmer is around...'

Cow being clamped for milk.

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

"I don't want to worry you, but this years prize winning pig, usually ends up as next years prize winning sausages."

"So how do we know if they've got this helium virus?"