Barnyard Humorists Pillows

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

"Ticklish?"

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

Moo! OOM!

Police Cow!

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

Ham-Dram

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

'Your barn door's open.'

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'I forgot to tell you Neddy's not 'broken-in' yet...!'

"We need less cowbell!"

'Is it slop yet?'

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

'No. I insist. You first.'

'Orchestra Pit Bull.'

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'Abandon Sheep.'

Farm Humor.

Sheep Ballast

"Just our luck...everything but us tastes just like chicken."

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

'Come on girls, can you at least pretend I rule the roost when the farmer is around...'

"I don't want to worry you, but this years prize winning pig, usually ends up as next years prize winning sausages."

"So how do we know if they've got this helium virus?"

'The kids in the barnyard called me a 'turkey'!'