Barnyard Humor Fans Pillows

The Mud is a terrible thing to waste.

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

Cow Show Tunes

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

Moo! OOM!

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

'Your barn door's open.'

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'Is it slop yet?'

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

"We need less cowbell!"

'No. I insist. You first.'

'I forgot to tell you Neddy's not 'broken-in' yet...!'

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

"be-be-be-be"

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'Abandon Sheep.'

Sheep Ballast

"Just our luck...everything but us tastes just like chicken."

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

'Come on girls, can you at least pretend I rule the roost when the farmer is around...'

Cow being clamped for milk.

"I don't want to worry you, but this years prize winning pig, usually ends up as next years prize winning sausages."

"So how do we know if they've got this helium virus?"