Barnyard Comedy Fan Gifts

COWS: Cow on Santa's lap

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

Cow Show Tunes

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Moo! OOM!

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

'Your barn door's open.'

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

'What's that smell?'

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

'Is it slop yet?'

"be-be-be-be"

"We need less cowbell!"

'Orchestra Pit Bull.'

'I forgot to tell you Neddy's not 'broken-in' yet...!'

'No. I insist. You first.'

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'Abandon Sheep.'

Sheep Ballast

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

Cow being clamped for milk.

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

'Come on girls, can you at least pretend I rule the roost when the farmer is around...'

"I don't want to worry you, but this years prize winning pig, usually ends up as next years prize winning sausages."

"So how do we know if they've got this helium virus?"

'A priest, a Rabbi and a minister walk into a barn...'